Blah

This post isn't going to include any pictures and it may be slightly a debbie downer.....at least everyone has been pre-warned.

I still find it to be such a mystery that it is SOOO incredibly easy for so many people to get pregnant, and here were are...try and try again with no results. I think what sparked this was finding out someone is pregnant. You know how most of the time you are genuinely happy to hear that someone is pregnant, this time it was kind of a shock and then blahhhhhhh. I am happy for this person, but it just really really hurts. Then, to make matters worse, I go on facebook and find out that 2 more people are having children, some of them on their second. I really don't want to sound like a heartless bi*&%, but it just hurts. I just wish there was some rhyme or reason why people get so easy and others try and try. Guess we will never know.

Brian's mom said to me the other day after Brian started working ...."you guys are going to have so much money you don't know what to do with it." My response "I certainly know what we will do with it........have a baby (hopefully)." I wish we could do it the old fashion way, free, but it is what it is. Doing it this way does not mean that Brian and I love each other any less, it just means we will have to lean on each other to get there.

Again, sorry this post is so blah, but,I want these feelings to be real and that is what they are right now. I couldn't be more blessed with a wonderful husband and family and that is what I am holding on to. As my dad says "God works in mysterious ways!"