It has been awhile since I have sat down and written a blog. This has been for a few reasons. 1. I had nothing to write about. I just fininshed my month of birth control and am ready to start again. 2. I am starting to get the feeling of losing hope. As much as I would like to put on a brave front, the possibility of not becoming a mother is becoming more real everyday and I am trying to deal with that. 3. These posts are starting to get depressing and really, not sure that it is helping anyone reading this thing.
As of the past week, I feel like facebook has erupted with people announcing their pregnancies. While I am very happy for all these people, I often start thinking, "when will it be my turn." I am sick of telling my sob story. We have made a decision of what our plan is. Currently I am taking my fertility pills for my 6th and final round of IUI. I can't tell even express how happy I am to have this be done with!!!! Since I miss out of the September invitro session, I will get in with the November group. The doctor said that if that doesn't work and there are extra embryos to freeze we can do what is called a frozen embryo transfer (not sure when the timing) would be and see if that works. If that doesn't work, we are done. I will just have to be okay with the fact I am only going to be "mom" to my animals. I know with time not being a mom will be okay with me, but it is hard when that is a common question at work, especially from patients, "do you have any kids." Luckily, I love my husband with all my heart and if it is just him and I growing old together, then we are very lucky people!
Hey Jackie,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you have to go through the heartache of infertility. You definitely deserve to have a child, but you're also fortunate to have a good husband and have a good job. Please don't forget about the option of adoption because I'm sure there's a child that needs you just as much as you need him/her. I hope everything goes well with your last treatment though. Love you lots!
Sydney Thompson