Baby Blues

  As much as I still hate to admit it, the first two weeks were extremely tough and I think most of that was due to the baby blues. I have heard bits and pieces of baby blues, but did not realize how common it is. I think I read somewhere that about 85% of women have baby blues to some extent or another. I did not see it coming and I think that was the hardest.

   For most women, baby blues starts about 3-5 days after birth and usually last appx 2 weeks. From what I read, the baby blues is mostly due to the massive hormone shift that happens after delivery. I started to get teary about day 3 post delivery....I thought it was just the stress of breastfeeding, but it continued. I was exhausted and extremely anxious. I had no appetite and would cry for no reason. I think I though that being a nurse, this baby thing would be not that hard. Boy was I wrong, it is not like being a nurse, it is not a 12 hour shift and I go home and rest. This is a 24/7 job and I was nervous I was not doing it right - it is a very overwhelming feeling. I felt like an inadequate mom. I kept thinking, I waited so long for this and want this, why do I feel this way? I kept getting frustrated with myself because more than anything I just wanted to enjoy Paityn and feel happy.

  People kept asking me how I was doing and wanted to stop by. That also made me really anxious because I didn't know if I could see people without crying. I didn't know what people would think. I am so thankful that I had the support of my mom, dad and Brian to get me through. By the end of week 2 I started to feel better. There was less crying and I felt more confident. By 3 weeks I began to feel more like myself and couldn't have been happier. Although I was afraid to admit I had the baby blues, I think it is important for people to know it does happen and you are not a bad person or mom for having it. The more I started talking about it, the more I realized other people went through it too and was able to use them as support. I am so happy to be a mom. It truly is the hardest job you will ever do, but it is the most rewarding and will get even more rewarding everyday! I am so lucky, I just love my family!