3 Months

 I can't believe my sweet girl is already 3 months old. She is old enough that I can stop telling people how many weeks she is and instead just say "3 months." It is amazing how different she looks already! I was just telling Brian that she has gotten so big that the cat feels light when I pick her up (cat is 9.9lbs). It wasn't long ago that Bella felt like a whale compared to Paityn. She is getting fatter and more wrinkles everyday - just the way we like it! Although she still likes to be cuddled, she is staring to prefer being held facing out so she can see the world. She smiles ALL the time! I still have not heard a true laugh or squeal, but I am looking forward to it soon! Her grasp has gotten very strong and although she doesn't grab for things yet, when she gets a hold of an item, she does move it around. She is still not sleeping through the night - she gets up around 1-2am and 5, but much improved from those first early weeks! We just have so much fun with her!

    I went back to work this week and although it was tough leaving her, it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. There is no doubt I would rather spend the time with my family, but if I HAVE to work, I do have a pretty awesome job! I love my co-workers and it has been so good to see everyone! I actually put a picture of her on my badge and love to show her off - yes, I have become THAT mom!!! Although I am gone for long periods of time, it does actually go by fast. I am usually so busy at work I don't have time to sit and worry! It hasn't been that hard getting back into the swing of things either. I do still feel a little "out of the loop," but it is sort of like riding a bike. I have not had a lot of difficult patients yet, but just getting back into the swing of being a nurse has been good. Now tomorrow may be a little different as I will have to take the reigns as charge nurse, but I will just do my best and make something up :). I think I also feel more comfortable working, because Brian is becoming more comfortable with taking care of Paityn on his own. He is an amazing dad, but I wasn't sure how he would do with getting up in the middle of the night. The more he does it, the more confident he becomes and it is so fun to watch him with her!

    My friend Erika has started her IUI treatments again after a little break. She has started a blog of her own and you can check it out - it is listed as one of my blogs I follow called Faith Hope Love. I really wish no one had to take the infertility journey, but in the end it is worth every minute. I would love to someday become an advocate for insurance companies paying at least some money for invitro. As it stands now, most insurances pay about 80% of IUI procedures and nothing for invitro. I look at Paityn and think, without this technology, she would not be here and I could not imagine life without her. Fortunately we could afford this procedure, but many people don't have that ability. I read a good article online about IVF becoming more affordable - you can read it here. Due to the cost of IVF, Paityn will be our only child. We cannot afford to do another procedure and unless we miraculously conceive on our own, we won't be doing another round. That is really okay with us - she is our world and we couldn't ask for anything more. Of course I would LOVE to have more children - being a mom is the best, but until IVF becomes significantly cheaper or insurance helps cover the cost - Paityn is it! I feel so bad for the families that, due to financial constraints of IVF, will never get to have the most wonderful experience of being a parent! It is just not fair!